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FUNNIES
 
 
  • OK, I've heard a lot of funny stuff in the classroom over the years...

    ...so , if you find something on here that came from you, don't worry, I won't name names, and it's nothing personal.

    • George Washington died at the age of 79. He is still dead.

    • STUDENT 1: "What does 'JK' mean?"

      STUDENT 2: "Duh, it means Jo King!!!"

    • MRS. HAMMER: "This is no longer a democracy! From now on, I am the lawyer, the judge, and the jury!"

    STUDENT: " I EJECT!"

 

    • (05.02.08) Use "deceit" in a sentence: "Mrs. Hammer, I need a new c hair because deceit is broken." (#17)
    • (03.18.08) Mrs. Hammer: "Sometimes his body has problems eliminating solid waste, ummm... gaseous waste, and liquid waste." Student #3: "You mean he has problems with his water cycle?" Student #17: "In that case, Mrs. Hammer, my body's having a water cycle issue. It needs to rain."
    • (03.17.08) Use "disguise" in a sentence: "I think disguise weird." (#23)
    • (01.22.08) Did your horse fall down because it ran out of horsepower?

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM MY EO GROUP(01/14/08):

    Early to bed and early to rise

          • then go back to bed again
          • means less traffic on the freeway
          • gives you more time on the internet

    People who live in glass houses...

          • need a lot of Windex
          • should hang curtains in their bathrooms
          • shouldn't play soccer inside the house
          • shouldn't sing really high notes

    A friend in need...

          • will never pay you back
          • means he's broke
          • will always ask for something

    Use "admiral" in a sentence:

          • She has many admiral qualities.

    Use "industry" in a sentence:

          • My kite keeps getting stuck "industry".

 

    • Mrs. Hammer: You are all driving me bonkers.
      • Student #26: It's a short drive.
    • "My mom is a house mom.  My dad is a car dad." (#21)
    • "The early farmers brought water to their fields through irritation."
    • "When someone passes the bar exam, does that mean they can be a bar tender?"
    • "How can a forest run?"  (as in "Run, Forrest, Run!!!)
    • "Yazi, how long does it take for you to put all those curlers in your hair every night?"
    • "Mrs. Hammer, my dog ate my Minder Binder."
    • "The cat cannot find its puppies." (OK, so it was I who said it, but I wasn't paying attention to what I was saying because we've been cooped up indoors for a few days and I'm getting a little cabin fever, and yah, that's my excuse.)
    • "Azure: Please don't talk azure walking in the breezeway."
    • "During the Stone Age, humans discovered stones, and then they discovered that the stones could be used for tools, like stoning animals for food."
    • "Math wouldn't be so hard if it wasn't for the numbers. I'm not good with numbers."
    • "I don't like History because it's all about the past. Why can't it be all about future?"
    • "Can four people be twins?" (#19)
    • "Her circle stands six were pretty serious." (#6)
    • "If it's possible, how is that a maybe?"
    • "Cursive is called cursive because whenever you have to practice it, it makes you want to curse."